We all live our lives to a pattern in one way or another, so why change it? Simply, because the current one doesn't work as well as we would like it to. Let me explain the current patterns we try and live our lives to:

We are all born entering the world never having heard the language we now speak, without the opinions we now hold and without the experiences we have had so far in this life. From that moment of birth we are conditioned to think and act in certain ways. Most of the conditioning happens without awareness. It is about behaviours, words and deeds, passed on from generation to generation. Let me give you some examples of what I mean:

The first thing that seems to be taught to babies is the idea of judgement, of good and bad, e.g. a baby smiling and gurgling is praised and told they are good, however crying in the middle of the night is not. A baby eating messily is invariably told that it is bad. A big smile is deemed to be good. A pungent nappy and the child is told that they are smelly and nasty.

Children are continually learning as they grow. They are taught about the world around them, social skills and the value of judgement, what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. As the child grows it persistently asks questions Why this? Why that? What does this do? after a while the exasperated parent tells the child to shut up. The child interprets this instruction to mean they are being bad. Another example is when the child is trying to be helpful or doing something useful and is finding it a bit of a struggle, they are then pushed to one side with words like "get out of my way." or "I haven't got time for you to finish that, let me do it." All these messages are interpreted by the child as an indication of their badness.

Following on from the good and bad, children are quickly educated in the scarcity and value of material resources eg A request for an object is usually met with "..can't afford it" "...costs money and I haven't got any" "..they don't grow on trees you know."

In summary, the child grows up with an unconscious pattern of what they are like: too slow, incapable, not worth loving, clueless, not good enough, unworthy, bad, fearful, etc. This is what they carry with them as they grow up. By the age of 4 or 5 children have all their own core beliefs. They are unlikely to think of themselves as a perfect example of a human being.

As we grow events happen and we react to them. This reaction is based on the beliefs we hold. Whatever the event our thoughts fit our beliefs. A typical example is where someone receives a compliment, but because their unconscious belief, created in early childhood, is they are not worthy of such a compliment they react to confirm their unworthiness. Such as: "You look lovely" - "No I don't my nose is too large" or "my behind's too big". "You made a really good job of that" - "No, I messed up that bit" or "I could have done it better". It is worth noting that for the most part the conditioning is not intentionally designed to give this belief system, but comes as a consequence of how we have all been conditioned in a similar manner, going back as many generations as you care to look.

Adult behaviour is then a reflection of personal beliefs. Two people may experience the same thing, but each views it from their personal perspective, creating their own reality. Our reality is confirmed and reinforced by everything around us, the media and those we meet. We look, listen, see and engage in whatever confirms our view of reality, tending to ignore or "not go there" for the bits that our feelings tell us don't fit. An example of how much we choose to see is after having purchased a new car we suddenly start to notice greater numbers of "our car" on the road, the number of cars has not altered but our perception has.

Based on lifelong conditioning the world we inhabit is one where there is very limited love, of which we don't deserve any. There is a shortage of everything required for living a good life, which we have to work hard for and even then may never get. To get on in life you have to prove you're better than the next person. You have no power or influence in most areas of your life; you just do as you are told. Without a job you will have no money so won't be able to pay the mortgage, feed yourself, survive etc.

That's life as we know it Jim!

But is it? Most of us are unaware of how much power we have to influence our own lives. From childhood we have been conditioned to give our power away to others because that's what we are taught is right. Your power comes from awareness and choice. You are free to make whatever choices you wish. There are times when you may consider the options available to choose from as not being options, but they are there nonetheless. Your choices are based on your beliefs. The more you are aware of your beliefs the more varied and informed your selection of options will be.

On the matter of awareness I'd like to make you aware of the undisputed results of some scientific experiments carried out in Universities around the world. Many of the experiments having been carried out in the last ten years:

1. We are all energy bodies, vibrating at different rates.

2. Everything is connected to everything else; nothing is separate (from this experiment it should be noted that the whole of creation is one unit of energy - you cannot judge one unit as being good or bad or right or wrong as you need two to do that, so judgement is unnecessary!)

3. EVERY THOUGHT YOU HAVE AFFECTS THE WHOLE OF CREATION INSTANTLY (not just you or even this planet or universe)

4. Nothing is real until you observe it and then it is only there whilst the observation occurs.

5. Time is not real, the only time is NOW i.e. everything occurs now, everything exists now

6. Energy has a preference for being organized in balanced, harmonious patterns rather than existing in a chaotic or non harmonious state

7. We all have our own realities and are solely responsible for them

8. The planet earth and all the people on it have a collective consciousness that reacts to events (In simple terms the planet and all that's on it may be compared to a tree. It reacts to events as a whole - but each element of the tree, such as roots, branches, leaves, reacts differently in a strong wind, yet is still part of the whole)

I would now like to interpret the current pattern of life in the light of these 8 points:

Our conditioned thinking is that we are all individuals (as Darwin proposed - survival of the fittest) and that there is a lack of resources, ensuring we have to struggle to have enough to survive. From 1 and 2 above you will see that everything is energy and connected, there is no separation, and so we have access to all and everything in creation. Point 3, by use of thought we can manifest our desires, providing they are harmonious with the rest of creation, (point 6). Point 7, we are responsible for what we manifest in our reality. At the moment we are conditioned to manifest non-harmonious realities, based on our conditioned fears but we can change our conditioning and create abundance and harmony for ourselves and the whole, (point 8).

The previous paragraph is probably hard to swallow for most people. It flies in the face of most of what you have been taught so far in your life. It is almost too good to be true and if it's true why aren't more people doing it? More people aren't doing it because they are not aware of the existence of the possibilities available or do not believe it. Look around you, the happy people are doing it, those with inner peace are doing it.

There is no secret formula for changing your life. Simply BE AWARE.

Aware of:

the eight points mentioned previously

what really makes you happy

what makes you unhappy

what you are thinking

your feelings

how judgement forms a major part of everyday thinking

how your conditioning is reinforced by life around you

how you make conditions about your behaviour I love you (but you've got to love me in return)

why and why not (why happy, why sad, why this thought and not that, why this feeling and not that feeling)

At the first time of reading the list you are likely to dismiss it out of hand as it does not fit your reality, saying to yourself "it's not for me". You have been conditioned to believe "facts" that are not true, or factual, for all of your life. You have been conditioned that anything outside of those "facts" is rubbish, poppycock etc. How can somebody so imperfect be this powerful?

You are reading this because you have a desire to change. To turn a desire to change into change takes courage, faith and practice. You have been practicing your way all your life, however many years that is, so an overnight change is unlikely to occur. Be honest with yourself, listen to your feelings. Practice being the person you want to become. Practice accepting yourself as you are and allow yourself to be who you are, without judging yourself as unworthy, not good enough etc. You're OK learn to believe it.

As your awareness increases through practice and the truth behind points 1 to 8 becomes apparent, you are able to make more informed choices on matters concerning your life and so you take control of your destiny and start leading the life that makes you happier, more contented, stress free etc. Not sure of what you want to be or what route to follow? Here's a way. Assume there are no obstacles in your life stopping you being or doing whatever you wish. Create a wish list of the five most important things. Place them in order of priority. Write down what is needed to fulfil that wish eg if you want to "be happy" what is it that makes you happy - Make sure you get back to the root reason. Saying having lots of money would make you happy is not the root, saying what you would do with the money may not be the root, identifying why you would spend the money in a particular way may be closer to the root. Now you know what it is you truly desire. You know where you are now and know where you want to be. Start on the road, whatever you do remember where you are going and act accordingly. Simple but it works!

Terry Monnery
October 2004

for more information on Personal Awareness visit Terry's website momtraining.co.uk

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